Breaking Point.

Tyler and I have both hit are breaking point with each other. We decided today to give each other space and time to think through our personal feelings. I'm hoping in a couple of weeks we will talk again and both of us realize how important the other was in our lives. But until then I'm taking a break on the blog thing, Tyler doesn't like it and I need to respect his wishes. Until then I will be reading my new book, Fireman's Wife. The last book I was reading caused me to think to deep and force others to think to deep. Which has got me where I'm at now.

If your reading this Tyler,
I love you and I'm sorry for the hurt I have caused you. Take the time you need to gather your thoughts and work through your problems. I think once we have had a much needed break we ill find that each other has a special place in our hearts for one another. I would rather not talk for a couple of weeks and solve our issues then not be together for the rest of our lives because we never gave each other space. I hope for us to be better before you start paramedic school on December 12, I would like to help you get through this tough time and make you put in the focus in hours needed to be successful.  Don't make fun on my book I made you it wasn't completed yet. Tyler I can promise you that if we can make it through this things will be different for the better. Remember I'm always here for you and you will remain my hero.

Love will always find a way <3

Sunday Morning.

Well I went out last night. Didn't have as much fun as I thought I would. I'm no longer that immature high school girl and stuff like that doesn't appeal to me. I know it sounds crazy but each day I'm slowly changing and becoming a happier person. I know it's hard to believe because people don't change over night but I have really started seeing a difference. This morning I get a message from one of Tyler friends and my first thought was the worst of course. But as we continued talking I realized he was shocked that we broke up and hopes that we could work through are problems. I really do miss Tyler and I hope he is starting to miss me ignoring the immature argument of the past and missing me as a person. On Monday were suppose to have lunch together and I told him that if he still has faith in me and our relationship to come but if he doesn't than I would rather him not come. I really hope he shows up and we have a nice stress free lunch. If he doesn't show up on Monday I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. When a girl truly loves a guy she will try her best to make things work but after so long of you not trying she gives up. When she gives up good luck on getting her to try again because she doesn't want to go through the pain again.
I thank Tyler's friend for randomly messaging me it has given me hope that our friends are shocked this happened and don't want to see us throw in the towel that easily. Our talk we had on Friday night was a hard one to have but I think it needed to be said. I took a lot of responsibility for my faults in our relationship such as growing up, letting my family's opinion matter more over my own, letting the past into the present and not being honest 100%. All though Tyler didn't say much he did admit he let one person come into our relationship and I hope what I said got him thinking in a positive way so he can make the changes in his life to become a happier person. I'm willing to be patient as long as we are both working through our issues with each other and personally.

Forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile. <3

Supporting our firemen!

This quote says it all!

Nothing that's worthwhile is ever easy. Remember that. <3

Firemen.

All men are created equal, then a few become firemen.

Losing Faith.

Today has been one of the hardest days. I have almost given up hope. The ways he is treating me isn't fair anymore. I know I messed up and I will spend the rest of my life making it up to him. But I have been treated like this before for almost 4 years by someone else and I can't do it for another. I'm hoping he is different. Im giving him till Monday to change if not I'm just going to have to let go for good. I don't want to I just emotional cant take much more. This book is making me hate living with my mom, sister and brother. But if thats what it takes to for our relationship to work I will do whatever it takes. I love him more than he will ever know. We have been through a lot as a couple that must young adults don't have to deal with. If we can get through this it will only make our relationship stronger, healthier and have a lasting relationship.

True love never dies <3

Smiling for no reason.

Last night I gave Tyler the stuff for his jeep. He loved it! We talked some last night which hopefully helped our relationship. We ended our night watching Duck Dynasty and eating pizza rolls and hot pockets! It was a great night:) I found myself smiling for no reason for the first time in months. He went to work this morning and I hated seeing him leave. He is coming to have lunch with me on Monday while I'm at work, I'm hoping to have a great time and not discuss our relationship. I asked him today that if Monday goes good and we have a great time that maybe Saturday we can go dancing. We haven't danced together in over a year so I think it will be fun! Im hoping to restore the fun in our relationship:)

Kiss tomorrow goodbye <3