Life.

My life has been turned upside so I thought on Tuesday. This was until I started reading this book and I read some stories of other EMT girlfriends and wife's and realized what Tyler was going through. Both of these things had been a eye opener and a life changer. I have never been a person to admit the faults and take responsibility for problems that I created in my relationship until now. I have realized I have been absolutely hateful and rude to the people that mattered most in my life. I was to self-centered to notice Tyler was going through a tough time and needed someone to be there for him. I'm not a perfect person nor do I claim to be, but one things is certain that it took losing a very important person to me to realize all this. I'm not happy that we broke up but I cant say that I sad either. This break up has taught me so much about myself that I probably would have never realized if we never took this break. I think this break is very beneficial to the both of us. It gives both of us time to grow up and deal with our personal issues without having to deal with the stress of being in a relationship and also living together. Today he pointed out then when he starts paramedic school that we wont have time for each other and that it isn't fair. Going into this relationship with Tyler I knew it wasn't going to be a walk in the park. With his profession he deals with a lot emotional stress and also paramedic school isn't the easiest thing in the world. We are two different people who have lived different lives so of course there is going to be arguments, but they say opposites attract. I told him early that I know it going to be tough not seeing each other now that I have moved out, but in the long run if our relationship can handle paramedic school that it can handle a lot more. Paramedic school can only make us stronger. I want to be there to help him study and celebrate when he passes his test, or has a great shift at work. I want to keep encouraging him throughout his job and school. When going into this relationship I honestly didn't think we would get this far or that I would fall in love with him, but I'm so glad I did. I worry about him going through paramedic school because he isn't a great test taker and doesn't have strong study skills. Tyler is very determined to do great in school so I believe this will help him overcome his faults in school. I also asked if we could go to the homecoming game together before we broke up I was planning on surprising when I get off work and telling him to get dress so we could go. I think it would be great if we went together to bring back the fun in our relationship and its also important that we continue to see each other through the break to show each other that we are changing and that we are working through are problems. If your reading this Tyler, just know I love you and would go to the end of the world for you.

I'm hard to love, hard to love, I don't make it easy <3